Day 17 - Standing Still

I feel like I am standing still. I weighed 190 again today. Maybe I should be happy about that? I would have been happy about it a week ago, but today I still feel like I am in a hole. I can't believe I am stuck in this rut, and what is more amazing to me is that I am still working out and eating right.

It's totally like me to give up by now - especially without any results. Still I am going. I worked out 45 minutes last night even though I really didn't want to... and I mean REALLY didn't want to. I was going to give up after 15 minutes and use my "a little bit is better than a not-a-bit" excuse. That one is a real classic when it comes to working out... but I didn't stop. Then, I was going to quit after half an hour... the doctor only asks you to do 30 minutes a day... but I didn't stop. I knew I had to increase my intensity and the length of my workout.

How many people do you know who work out 45-60 minutes 5 times a week. I mean, faithfully truly do it? I don't know many - I had an old coworker who ran everyday. Guess what? She was a rail! Thin, petite, fit... and here I am working out 5 times a week, more if I can, and I can't lose anything! I'm not sure how I am staying motivated, but I hope it pays off.

Day 16 - Big drop not big enough

All of the research that I have been doing on my body hanging on to my weight throughout my new exercise program promises a big drop in weight sometime in either week 3 or week 4. Well, today I saw a huge drop on the scale. Considering that I weighed in at a hefty 195 yesterday, the 190 that the scale was boasting today was welcome... but I still feel slighted.

The lowest I have weighed so far was 189, and I still haven't seen that number yet. You would think that by now I should have dropped another 2 pounds past that, so now I am really behind. My starting weight was 192, so really, I have only lost 2 pounds in two weeks. I guess that is not so far under average, but I am wondering why it took so long, why I saw a big fast drop and then a steady gain, and why I don't weight less when the math says I should.

My goal was to weigh 180 by the end of November, but now it looks like that isn't going to work. The longer it takes me to shed pounds off this initial gain, the harder it is going to be to reach my goal. I was trying to lose about 2 pounds per week, but now I am seriously set back. I am trying not to get discouraged, but it is definitely hard. Especially since this is the first time I have tried to do things the "right" and "healthy" way. I have been working out so hard and really trying to eat right and honestly doing my very very best even though I want to give up... but I won't. I won't give up.

24 Days until Disneyland!

Let's see... how do I put this...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

We are leaving for Disneyland in less that a month! I thought that I had managed to save all of the money that I needed, but then I remembered that I have to pay for transit. Boo! I was trying to find the cheapest way to get from Disneyland to Universal Studios. I think if I take the metrolink train to the subway, and then take the shuttle from the subway to the main gate, then that would be the cheapest way... Although taking the greyline bus tour sounds pretty appealing too! Maybe I will do one on the first day and one on the second.

Oh well, doesn't matter - have Disneyland!

Day 15 - Why am I still doing this?

Seriously, the scale is still the same. Today I weighed in at 195 - 3 pounds more than when I started this two weeks ago. That's right, I have been doing this two full weeks and the scale seems to be on a slow upward climb. I have to wonder what is going on and why I am still doing this. I am keeping complete track of all of the foods I eat, what I weigh each day, and the workouts that I complete. I just want to take it to some scientist and say, "Study this until it makes sense!"

My weight is fluctuating, but it is slowly climbing up. I don't know why, but it's happening. At the same time, people are noticing a difference. I saw my mom today after a few days and the first thing that she said was, "Wow, you've lost weight!" I told her she was mistaken. In fact I had gained weight. She rephrased her statement and told me that I looked thinner and told me to keep at it. She's been encouraging, but it's hard not to feel beaten down by the scale.

I've increased my work out from a half hour everyday to 45-60 minutes a day. I took a couple of days off right after Halloween because I thought if I gave my muscles a rest that I might finally see something change on the scale. When it didn't work, I went back to working out. I didn't want to become sedentary again so I made myself get right back on the stair-stepper. Hopefully I will see something tomorrow. I am way behind the weight loss schedule that I had wanted to be on.

Day 14 - Trying not to give up!

Today I noticed that my belly felt slimmer. I also realized that I had been absentmindedly resting my arms on my stomach for who knows how long. So long that it became a habit. So long that when I went to rest my arms in their natural resting place, I noticed when it wasn't there anymore. I can't believe I was so fat that I used my gut as a shelf. Talk about working with what ya got!

It was also nice because Travis said I was looking a little slimmer and it was noticeable in my face and neck. OMGsh did I have a fat neck? Yes, I think I must have because otherwise it wouldn't be noticeably thinner.

That's twice that I noticed I looked and felt slimmer and once that someone else noticed, but the scale hasn't budged! I am now bouncing around between 195 and 192. 192 is my starting weight and I can't believe that 195 is even showing up on the scale! Is this weight loss all in my head? Have I talked enough about diet and exercise that other people are seeing it too? If that's how I did it then I am glad I am broadcasting it to the internet because then maybe I can brainwash the whole world into thinking I am slimming down!

Day 13 - differences

I went out to dinner with Travis last night and I only ate half my meal and I brought the other half home. I noticed it a couple of days ago as well... I am eating smaller portions. I think I can eat the same amount and I load up my plate, but I just can't. I'm sure if I went all professional eater mode and suffered through it I could stretch my stomach back out again, but who wants that? I feel full with less food and that is good.

Also, yesterday I felt thinner and I paused in the mirror and thought, "am I thinner? ... Nah..." But still, if I think I am noticing it, am I noticing something very small? Perhaps, but the scale still says otherwise.

On one hand I need to lose weight, On the other hand doughnut. (Day 12)

I fell off the wagon on Halloween night and ate about 6 pieces of candy and I didn't workout unless you count trick-or-treating.