originally wrote this on a myspace blog. Tonight, when I put my son to bed, I was so overwhelmed with love, I wanted to repost it...
I love to watch my son sleep. His chest falls silently and rhythmatically. His little pacifier jumps up and down double-time 
making squeeky little smacking sounds in his mouth. Sometimes he snores. Even though his hands are tucked safely away in little baby mittens, you can still see his fingers working their way around the stuffed monkey he hugs while he sleeps.
Sometimes he dreams. I'm not sure of what. It used to be obvious that he only dreamt of nursing. Even after his pacifier would fall out, his lips would pucker up and his mouth would move up and down. Now he smiles in his sleep. He occassionally makes a noise that might mean he is dreaming of laughing. If he is, then I am sure he is dreaming about Shawn.
Before Shawn and I go to bed everynight we stand next to his crib with our arms around eachother. We usually don't say anything, but I'm sure we are both thinking the same thing. We stand there in silence trying to wrap our minds around a new kind of love.
Mom used to say, "When you have a child, you will understand" and mom was right. Now I have a child, and I understand that I will never understand. I'll never be able to articulate the way I feel. I'll never be able to tell you how much I love my son. I'll never be able to express how deeply I care for him. I'll never be able to contain myself when he smiles or laughs. I'll never be able to maintain my composure when he bobbles his head at me, or gives me kisses, or laughs aloud. I'll never stop being amazed at the fact that he grew inside me, he came out, and now he is still growing outside of me. I'll never stop being amazed at the way love can grow with every breath he takes while I watch him sleeping.
Some people say that babies are a natural part of life, and therefore; by definition, not a miracle. I say that babies are a wonder, a marvel, a manifestation of the work of God, and therefore; by definition, are indeed little miracles. And I'm the mom... and that means I'm right by default.
making squeeky little smacking sounds in his mouth. Sometimes he snores. Even though his hands are tucked safely away in little baby mittens, you can still see his fingers working their way around the stuffed monkey he hugs while he sleeps.
Sometimes he dreams. I'm not sure of what. It used to be obvious that he only dreamt of nursing. Even after his pacifier would fall out, his lips would pucker up and his mouth would move up and down. Now he smiles in his sleep. He occassionally makes a noise that might mean he is dreaming of laughing. If he is, then I am sure he is dreaming about Shawn.Before Shawn and I go to bed everynight we stand next to his crib with our arms around eachother. We usually don't say anything, but I'm sure we are both thinking the same thing. We stand there in silence trying to wrap our minds around a new kind of love.
Mom used to say, "When you have a child, you will understand" and mom was right. Now I have a child, and I understand that I will never understand. I'll never be able to articulate the way I feel. I'll never be able to tell you how much I love my son. I'll never be able to express how deeply I care for him. I'll never be able to contain myself when he smiles or laughs. I'll never be able to maintain my composure when he bobbles his head at me, or gives me kisses, or laughs aloud. I'll never stop being amazed at the fact that he grew inside me, he came out, and now he is still growing outside of me. I'll never stop being amazed at the way love can grow with every breath he takes while I watch him sleeping.
Some people say that babies are a natural part of life, and therefore; by definition, not a miracle. I say that babies are a wonder, a marvel, a manifestation of the work of God, and therefore; by definition, are indeed little miracles. And I'm the mom... and that means I'm right by default.
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