Hunting Season

I want to hunt an elk. I am totally sold on the idea.

I am sure that I can do it. All you have to do is stay warm, be patient, point the gun at it, and shoot. Easy as pie! I told my friend, Zac that I want to go and he says he knows a spot. So that means I can cross off "Find a spot" from my list... See?

1. Find a spot
2. Find a gun
3. Learn to use said gun
4. Get warm boots
5. Knit orange hat and scarf
6. Get days off of work
7. Go into woods
8. Possibly sit in a tree
9. Honk like an elk
10. Shoot elk
11. Gut elk
12. Butcher elk
13. Pay dentist's dad to mount head of dead elk for my living room.
14. Eat elk burgers... YUM!

So, I think I am going to need a considerable amount of money. Let's see... $250-$300 to mount the head... and... that's all I know about the cost of hunting. How much are those boots? Can't I just wear wool socks and galoshes? I already have orange yarn courtesy of Cindy, and waterproof camo stuff courtesy of Shawn's stint in the Marine Corps.

How many elk do you have to kill before you are ready to hunt bear? Which one tastes better? Are turkeys easy to hunt? I think they would be; they look dumb. I want to kill my Thanksgiving meal. Zac just told me that you hunt turkeys in the spring... then why the heck is Thanksgiving in November?! This is an outrage!!!