I'm so Hungry

A haiku about my stupid new life style change

I am so starving.
I am so hungry.
Working out makes me eat more.
My body craves food.

No, seriously, I am sitting here and my stomach is audibly protesting my breakfast. I had half a grapefruit and a slice of sourdough bread with half an ounce of cheese. Half an ounce. Infants eat more than half an ounce. That all equals to roughly 280 calories, which is a not-so-bad breakfast, but it wasn't enough. I am so hungry that all I can do is watch the clock and pray for lunch.

Day 6

I lost another pound so now I am 190 even. That is still a hunk-o-chunk.

I still really dislike working out. Nothing makes the clock tick slower than sweating. But I find that I have to work out if I want to eat anything. I ate an extra helping at dinner last night and had to add an extra 15 minutes on to my workout. BLECH.

Day 5

I have lost one pound and now weigh 191. That still sucks.

I have worked out everyday, but I still don't feel better. I don't have any extra energy and I don't like it even a little bit more than I did before. Working out is still difficult and time consuming and uncomfortable.

Day 4

I have been eating healthy, fresh foods and consuming less than 1,200 net calories a day, and working out for 4 days.

My weight is the same -- 192lbs. There. I said it.

I don't feel any different, except for the soreness from working out. I don't have more energy. I still prefer to sleep in than to work out. I still think exercise is boring.

Just thought I would check in and let you know how things are going.

Circle of Fatness

If it seems to you that just about 2 or 3 times a year I commit to losing weight and then fall off the wagon, then you've got pretty average observation skills. I do it all the time. I think I am stuck in a cycle. You know what I think my problem is? I think I come on too strong in the beginning. I obsess. And then I fail. Or maybe my problem is that I have no will power. Well that can't be the problem because I had will power when I did my hCG diet. I had the will power to only eat 500 calories a day, but then I didn't have the will power to keep my weight down. I think it comes back to the whole "lifestyle change" thing...

I think I am probably pretty typical. If not typical of what goes on in the world then I am typical of what goes on in the world around me. My mom has been yo-yo dieting for the last 20 years. She was thin for much of my childhood, but always trying to lose weight. She never had a good self image. Even when she was so thin that you could see her shoulder bones sticking out of her clothes, she was trying to lose another 5 lbs. It probably didn't help that her mother-in-law kept calling her fat, but that is besides the point.

I was 8 when my brother was born and that was when my mom had trouble keeping her weight down. She lost it at first but after that it was up and down. I'm not saying that this is my mom's fault by any stretch of the imagination, but what I am saying is that I am caught in the same up and down weight loop that I have seen her suffer through for so long. I really don't want to go through everything that she has gone through. Out of desperation to see instant results she has eaten blocks of cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a no carb diet. How she avoided getting gout is beyond me.

I don't want to be desperate. I don't want to suffer. And I don't want to be fat. But I don't know what to do about it? Just exercise and eating right. I guess that is all there is I can do... other than crash diet; I don't want to do that!

I have broken cycles in the past. Cycles of hurt, cycles of despair, etc. I know I can break this cycle, too. I know I can, I just don't know how...

Saving for Disneyland

45 Days.

45 Days until we get on a plane and go to Disneyland!

I cannot believe it! I am so excited! We have a very loose daily plan of where we are going to be and what we are going to do. I want to be able to drop everything and switch plans if Caleb says he wants to go somewhere or do something else. I want to be able to take him to nice places to eat. I want to take him on a magical birthday getaway. And although I am sure that I will have to tell him, "no" about some thing or another, I really don't want to.

I am a little stressed about saving spending money. Since I want to be able to take him out to Medieval Times and to Rain Forest Cafe and I want to be able to buy him souvenirs. And I don't want to stress out about it. I am trying so hard to save money, but it's hard.

I only get paid once a month, which means that I only get paid one more time before we leave! Plus, I have Caleb's Halloween Party coming up this weekend. I am trying to save money while spending money... It's tough! I am pretty sure that I can get it done, but -whew- it won't be easy!

Gearing up for Christmas with K-Mart Layaway

This post brought to you by Kmart. All opinions are 100% mine.

Due to my many years in retail, I know that now is the time to begin getting ready for Christmas.  Acutally, the time was about 12 days ago, but who's counting?  You might not be able to tell yet, but the retail stores are all abuzz with the Christmas Spirit right now.  They are collecting resumes and even conducting interviews.  In fact, most places will have all of their Holiday help hired by October first so they can be trained to handle the masses on Black Friday. 

Black Friday has never really been my "thing".  I prefer to shop for my holiday gifts the easy way.  Travis and I were just discussing how we are going to make it through the Christmas season this year since our families have grown so much.  Even if we get little gifts for every kid on the list we are still going to take a pretty hefty hit to the pocket book.  That's where the free layaway at K-Mart comes into play. 

It makes a lot more sense to put items on layaway and pay for them over time, and the earlier you get it on layaway, the longer you have to pay.  Work smarter, not harder!  Don't force yourself to tangle with the masses, risk getting trampled, and still miss out on that special item your little loved one was hoping for.  Get it done early and do it right the first time.  Put it on layaway now while it's on the shelf and guarantee you get what you want!  I made the mistake of mising out on one of my top items last year... this year I won't make the same mistake again.  I'm putting my LEAP PAD on layaway!!

What could make it better? Kmart's Big Layaway Giveaway, that's what! Once a week, every week until 11/17/12 K-Mart will pick a winner from their layaway customers and pay off their remaining balance!  You could get your entire Christmas haul SEVERLY discounted that way!

If you have never used layaway before, you are missing out - I'm sad to say it, but it's true.  I've been in retail a long time and I can say that layaway is a smart way to do things.  

See how simple that is?  Not only is it easy, but you can see the K-Mart is the smarter choice.  Oh you're just so very smart now aren't you.  I think you deserve a little pre-Christmas gift for having such a huge brain.