Let's say I try and bite you. How much is it gonna hurt? I'm...

October 27, 2009

Hi Q Haiku

Welcome to my blog
This is my one hundredth post
And its just for you

Satisfying Moment of the Day

Guy you haven't seen since High School gives you a second look, and then waits for you to recognize him... which of course, you pretend not to do.

A little eyebrow waggle, a little crooked smile. Do I remember you or not? I guess you'll never know. Mwa ha ha ha ha!

October 26, 2009

My 2010 Hunting Plans

Don't think for one moment that I have given up on my hunting plans. I am bound and determined to kill something and mount it's head on my wall. Right above my fire place; its going to be great. I have decided that since I have already missed the deadline to go hunting THIS year, I am going to spend the next 11 months preparing myself for my big kill NEXT year. In regards to that, I do have some good news and some bad news.

Bad news: There is no "Elk Hunting For Dummies" book; I checked.

Good news: There is this website: ElkHuntingTips.net

The top thing on my new list of things to do in preparation of my hunting trip is to physically condition myself.

New List
1. Become physically capable of surviving a few days in harsh winter elk-hunting conditions.
2. Learn to shoot a gun accurately.

I decided to make this the second thing on my list because shooting a bull elk is pointless if you aren't strong enough to haul it out of the woods. Its also pointless if you die of hypothermia while you're out there with it. While I don't anticipate having a problem with gutting the elk, I would like to avoid having to crawl inside of it's guts to keep warm like Luke Skywalker.

In light of that I begin my new physical training regiment today. I am using the ElkHuntingTips.net website that I mentioned earlier as a reference. Here is their advice on physical fitness, and it seems logical enough.

Small change of subject. My mother insists that I am not going to kill an elk. -All the more reason to go hunting- her comment:

You can just go to the store and buy a steak."

Quite obviously not the same thing.
Now I have a whole new reason to embark on my hunting trip... spite.

October 25, 2009

Chicken Pot Pie

Since I can't go hunting this year, I am going to settle for making homemade chicken pot pie...

Insert Angry Face

Stupid hunting laws. It's too late to get elk tags. I'm going to look into getting a tribal card so I can hunt WHATEVER I want WHENEVER I want. And pay homage to my ancestors, of course.

Hunting Season

I want to hunt an elk. I am totally sold on the idea.

I am sure that I can do it. All you have to do is stay warm, be patient, point the gun at it, and shoot. Easy as pie! I told my friend, Zac that I want to go and he says he knows a spot. So that means I can cross off "Find a spot" from my list... See?

1. Find a spot
2. Find a gun
3. Learn to use said gun
4. Get warm boots
5. Knit orange hat and scarf
6. Get days off of work
7. Go into woods
8. Possibly sit in a tree
9. Honk like an elk
10. Shoot elk
11. Gut elk
12. Butcher elk
13. Pay dentist's dad to mount head of dead elk for my living room.
14. Eat elk burgers... YUM!

So, I think I am going to need a considerable amount of money. Let's see... $250-$300 to mount the head... and... that's all I know about the cost of hunting. How much are those boots? Can't I just wear wool socks and galoshes? I already have orange yarn courtesy of Cindy, and waterproof camo stuff courtesy of Shawn's stint in the Marine Corps.

How many elk do you have to kill before you are ready to hunt bear? Which one tastes better? Are turkeys easy to hunt? I think they would be; they look dumb. I want to kill my Thanksgiving meal. Zac just told me that you hunt turkeys in the spring... then why the heck is Thanksgiving in November?! This is an outrage!!!

October 23, 2009


You will never believe this, but Shawn just brought home a semi-functioning computer. His work set him up with it a long time ago, but it was all locked up and they only recently got it working for him. The screen is broken and flashes down the middle, but hey, look! I'm on the internet and I am pleased as punch about that. Now if only I had something to say....

October 17, 2009

Today I feel like I'm so fat that my body is resting on top of itself.
I wish I could saunter. I don't think I'm graceful enough for that.

October 16, 2009

I'm behind a suby that has a bale of hay and 2 coolers on top of it. Any ideas where it might be going?

October 3, 2009

Omgsh! The Slim Cessna show was so great that I almost did a live blog.


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