Day 17 - Standing Still

I feel like I am standing still. I weighed 190 again today. Maybe I should be happy about that? I would have been happy about it a week ago, but today I still feel like I am in a hole. I can't believe I am stuck in this rut, and what is more amazing to me is that I am still working out and eating right.

It's totally like me to give up by now - especially without any results. Still I am going. I worked out 45 minutes last night even though I really didn't want to... and I mean REALLY didn't want to. I was going to give up after 15 minutes and use my "a little bit is better than a not-a-bit" excuse. That one is a real classic when it comes to working out... but I didn't stop. Then, I was going to quit after half an hour... the doctor only asks you to do 30 minutes a day... but I didn't stop. I knew I had to increase my intensity and the length of my workout.

How many people do you know who work out 45-60 minutes 5 times a week. I mean, faithfully truly do it? I don't know many - I had an old coworker who ran everyday. Guess what? She was a rail! Thin, petite, fit... and here I am working out 5 times a week, more if I can, and I can't lose anything! I'm not sure how I am staying motivated, but I hope it pays off.

Day 16 - Big drop not big enough

All of the research that I have been doing on my body hanging on to my weight throughout my new exercise program promises a big drop in weight sometime in either week 3 or week 4. Well, today I saw a huge drop on the scale. Considering that I weighed in at a hefty 195 yesterday, the 190 that the scale was boasting today was welcome... but I still feel slighted.

The lowest I have weighed so far was 189, and I still haven't seen that number yet. You would think that by now I should have dropped another 2 pounds past that, so now I am really behind. My starting weight was 192, so really, I have only lost 2 pounds in two weeks. I guess that is not so far under average, but I am wondering why it took so long, why I saw a big fast drop and then a steady gain, and why I don't weight less when the math says I should.

My goal was to weigh 180 by the end of November, but now it looks like that isn't going to work. The longer it takes me to shed pounds off this initial gain, the harder it is going to be to reach my goal. I was trying to lose about 2 pounds per week, but now I am seriously set back. I am trying not to get discouraged, but it is definitely hard. Especially since this is the first time I have tried to do things the "right" and "healthy" way. I have been working out so hard and really trying to eat right and honestly doing my very very best even though I want to give up... but I won't. I won't give up.

Day 15 - Why am I still doing this?

Seriously, the scale is still the same. Today I weighed in at 195 - 3 pounds more than when I started this two weeks ago. That's right, I have been doing this two full weeks and the scale seems to be on a slow upward climb. I have to wonder what is going on and why I am still doing this. I am keeping complete track of all of the foods I eat, what I weigh each day, and the workouts that I complete. I just want to take it to some scientist and say, "Study this until it makes sense!"

My weight is fluctuating, but it is slowly climbing up. I don't know why, but it's happening. At the same time, people are noticing a difference. I saw my mom today after a few days and the first thing that she said was, "Wow, you've lost weight!" I told her she was mistaken. In fact I had gained weight. She rephrased her statement and told me that I looked thinner and told me to keep at it. She's been encouraging, but it's hard not to feel beaten down by the scale.

I've increased my work out from a half hour everyday to 45-60 minutes a day. I took a couple of days off right after Halloween because I thought if I gave my muscles a rest that I might finally see something change on the scale. When it didn't work, I went back to working out. I didn't want to become sedentary again so I made myself get right back on the stair-stepper. Hopefully I will see something tomorrow. I am way behind the weight loss schedule that I had wanted to be on.

Day 14 - Trying not to give up!

Today I noticed that my belly felt slimmer. I also realized that I had been absentmindedly resting my arms on my stomach for who knows how long. So long that it became a habit. So long that when I went to rest my arms in their natural resting place, I noticed when it wasn't there anymore. I can't believe I was so fat that I used my gut as a shelf. Talk about working with what ya got!

It was also nice because Travis said I was looking a little slimmer and it was noticeable in my face and neck. OMGsh did I have a fat neck? Yes, I think I must have because otherwise it wouldn't be noticeably thinner.

That's twice that I noticed I looked and felt slimmer and once that someone else noticed, but the scale hasn't budged! I am now bouncing around between 195 and 192. 192 is my starting weight and I can't believe that 195 is even showing up on the scale! Is this weight loss all in my head? Have I talked enough about diet and exercise that other people are seeing it too? If that's how I did it then I am glad I am broadcasting it to the internet because then maybe I can brainwash the whole world into thinking I am slimming down!

Day 13 - differences

I went out to dinner with Travis last night and I only ate half my meal and I brought the other half home. I noticed it a couple of days ago as well... I am eating smaller portions. I think I can eat the same amount and I load up my plate, but I just can't. I'm sure if I went all professional eater mode and suffered through it I could stretch my stomach back out again, but who wants that? I feel full with less food and that is good.

Also, yesterday I felt thinner and I paused in the mirror and thought, "am I thinner? ... Nah..." But still, if I think I am noticing it, am I noticing something very small? Perhaps, but the scale still says otherwise.

On one hand I need to lose weight, On the other hand doughnut. (Day 12)

I fell off the wagon on Halloween night and ate about 6 pieces of candy and I didn't workout unless you count trick-or-treating.

Day 11

This is getting kind of ridiculous. I have worked out 10 of the last 11 days. I have counted my calories. I have eaten healthy foods. I have been dedicated and true. And no amount of science or explanation can make me feel good about being hungry, sore, and tired, and NOT losing weight!

I was 192 when I weighed in this morning. STILL above where I was a couple of days in to working out. STILL at my starting weight. What am I supposed to do? Keep going? Is it a coincidence that I heard this on 4 different occasions over the last 2 days: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Isn't that what I am doing? Working out, counting calories, and expecting to lose weight when I haven't?

Oh, and just so we are prefectly clear... that is NOT the definition of insanity.

in·san·i·ty noun \in-ˈsa-nə-tē\
plural in·san·i·ties

Definition of INSANITY

1 : a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)

2 : such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility

3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness
b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable

Geeze that stupid saying drives me crazy.

Why am I gaining weight in week 2 of my new exercise program? - The (Real) ANSWER!

I was looking for the reason I was gaining weight by searching the internet. What I found was a bunch of people in a bunch of forums complaining about the same problem, and a bunch of their peers giving their best guess. Most of the answers were "Muscle weighs more than fat", which as I said before is not an acceptable answer for me. I did not gain 4 pounds of muscle in 3 days.

Finally I found a link to an article (which I have posted below), and thank goodness! After reading the article it makes more sense as to why my harder workouts are making me gain weight on the scale. It's not because of my hard workout from yesterday or the day before, but it's from the whole new workout routine. As usual, when it takes me forever to find the answer to something on the internet, I always share it so that hopefully, you will stumble upon my search first and find the answer without wasting your time like I did.


You sometimes gain weight when starting a new exercise program

Weird Cravings

It's still day 10 of my stupid diet/workout lifestyle and I just noticed this morning that I am having weird cravings. So far I have craved Boca Burger (which I can satisfy because it is chopped up in my lunch today), Beef Stroganoff, and Sausage Pizza. Does that mean that I am craving protein?

Day 10 LOSING MY MIND

I thought I was supposed to be losing weight, not losing my mind! I have been working so hard to stay within my calorie goal and to work out everyday, and today I weighed in at 193! 193! That is more than I weighed before I started this whole thing! So I not only lost weight and gained it back, and then kept it, but you're telling me that I gained a full pound?! Are you SERIOUS?

This is a chart of my caloric intake. A real chart; not one where I fudged the numbers. There it is in black and white and it should mean that I should be losing weight, not maintaining it, and most definitely not gaining it.

Now here is a chart of my weight. You have to ignore the steady part. It looks like I maintained the same weight before this, but that is just because it assumes I did. I have only been checking in on my weight for 10 days, not a month. Anyway, as you can see, the two charts just do NOT jive! And please for the love of Pete, don't give me that "muscle weighs more than fat" talk because I am clearly not gaining any muscle. Not 5 lbs of muscles that's for gosh darned sure!

I'm Still at it

I can't believe that I am still doing this stupid diet. Outside of hCG I have never stuck with a diet or exercise plan this long before. Usually, I burn myself out. I guess that is why I have never hit this kind of week 2 slump before.

Years of watching The Biggest Loser have taught me that it is really hard to lose weight the 2nd week for some reason. I don't know why and I'm not even sure that it matters, but what I do know is that it happens to them and it's happening to me. I guess I will keep going.

I woke up with a cold today and I'm not sure what is more important, resting and letting my body heal from this cold, or working out to burn calories. I think I will do a VERY , VERY light workout, just to burn a few calories and then I will go to bed early and get lots of rest.

Day 9 - Grrrrrr

That scale is not my friend! It weighed me at 191 today! I did another hard workout yesterday and my body won't let go of the weight! My workouts have increased from a half hour everyday to an hour everyday and I think my body is protesting. This sucks.

I have noticed that I have been feeling different. A little more confident and better about myself. That's nice and I really enjoy it even if its has no real merit.

Day 8 - stupid scale

Remember how I had that super hard workout yesterday? Well it sucked. Not just at the time I was doing it, but this morning when I weighed myself I was all the way back to 192; BARF!

I know my swollen muscles are retaining water after an extra hard workout. Betcha didn't know that I knew science. Even so, I don't like seeing that number and had high hopes that I would be another pound closer to my goal.

Day 7

Since I got the Zombies, Run app, working out is a little less boring but still time consuming and very uncomfortable.

I did mysteriously lose another pound. I now weigh 189. That seems like it can't be true. I thought you were supposed to only lose 2 pounds a week.

Anyway, today is the 7th day which means that is one full week. Omgsh and I had to work out an HOUR tonight because not only did I skip yesterday but I ate a flipping piece of birthday cake today and lemme tell ya, it was NOT worth it.

Speaking of Zombies

I came across an app on my iPhone called "Zombies, Run!" And I love it. It's a story about zombies that you listen to in your headphones when you run. As you run you pick up supplies that you use to build up your community. I've used it twice so far at it is awesome.

Usually it's $8, but I found out its on sale for half off until Halloween! Otherwise I wouldn't have paid so much for it.

Why My Body Thinks We Are Currently Experiencing a Zombie Apocalypse

I tried drinking water. I tried putting lemon in it. But this isn't me just feeling a little uncomfortable, this is my stomach growling and groaning for food. My body is in total shock about what is happening here. As far as my body knows, we are in deep trouble.

Why My Body Thinks We Are Currently Experiencing a Zombie Apocalypse

• Our food intake has been cut short - clearly, we are rationing supplies.
• We are working out - obviously, this means we are getting fit to survive
• We are running for up to 45 minutes straight - which without a doubt means we are running for our very lives while being chased by hordes of flesh-eating zombies!

My poor body...

I'm so Hungry

A haiku about my stupid new life style change

I am so starving.
I am so hungry.
Working out makes me eat more.
My body craves food.

No, seriously, I am sitting here and my stomach is audibly protesting my breakfast. I had half a grapefruit and a slice of sourdough bread with half an ounce of cheese. Half an ounce. Infants eat more than half an ounce. That all equals to roughly 280 calories, which is a not-so-bad breakfast, but it wasn't enough. I am so hungry that all I can do is watch the clock and pray for lunch.

Day 6

I lost another pound so now I am 190 even. That is still a hunk-o-chunk.

I still really dislike working out. Nothing makes the clock tick slower than sweating. But I find that I have to work out if I want to eat anything. I ate an extra helping at dinner last night and had to add an extra 15 minutes on to my workout. BLECH.

Day 5

I have lost one pound and now weigh 191. That still sucks.

I have worked out everyday, but I still don't feel better. I don't have any extra energy and I don't like it even a little bit more than I did before. Working out is still difficult and time consuming and uncomfortable.

Day 4

I have been eating healthy, fresh foods and consuming less than 1,200 net calories a day, and working out for 4 days.

My weight is the same -- 192lbs. There. I said it.

I don't feel any different, except for the soreness from working out. I don't have more energy. I still prefer to sleep in than to work out. I still think exercise is boring.

Just thought I would check in and let you know how things are going.