Let's say I try and bite you. How much is it gonna hurt? I'm...

January 31, 2009

I Have No Computer

OH EM GEE! My comptuer is DEAD! I just can't bring myself to re-blog about it so you're going to have to read about it here. On my mamapotamus blog.

January 23, 2009


et me catch you up on quiet a few things... First off, and probably the biggest thing going on in my life right now, is that Caleb has peed in the potty TWICE. We have yet to accomplish putting poops in the potty, but we are going to try that today after nap time. Provided that he doesn't stealth poop before I can get in there, as has been the story for the last couple of days and is highly likely.

In other news: Last Friday, Shawn's employer, Bank of Clark County, was seized by the FDIC as a failed bank. You can read about it on their webpage by clicking here. Since then, he has been a "contract employee" of the FDIC helping to switch over the old bank to Umpqua bank. This has meant long hours, and at one time, up to 6 stressed out bosses all telling him to do different things at the same time. Up until yesterday, we were unsure how long he would remain employed. Umpqua interviewed him for an unknown position that he could take after the switch was finalized.

Fortunately, the day before learning that the bank was bombing, he received an email from a friend letting him know that they were looking for an independent contractor to do deliveries around the Portland area. Another fortunate turn of events, an old friend of Shawn's is the manager of the same company! So, Shawn met with him yesterday and the job is his if he wants it; and he DOES! I'm glad we got that sorted.

Shawn and I took Caleb to the pet store yesterday. He does this little bouncing wiggle that we call "The Hamster Dance" whenever he sees a hamster. It always makes us want to get one for him. I've had hamsters in the past and as cute as they may be, they are not really my thing. In order to have a happy hamster you have to spend a lot of time with it, let it out of the cage, play with it and hold it while it pees all over you and your furniture. Otherwise, if the hamster is not your furry little friend, what you have is a furry little captive.

I just can't devote my time to a hamster like that, I am lucky if I get to make my own bed in the morning, let alone change out a hamster's cage. Also, we have 2 dogs, 2 birds, and turtle already, we don't need to add anything to the mix. We decided to reassess the situation near his birthday / Christmas and see how things are at that time. All I can tell you is, the future is not furry for our family.

January 16, 2009

How My Blog Got It's Name

his is the true story about where I got the name for my blog. This was the first time I ever saw Paul F. Tompkins, many, many years ago & very, very late at night on Comedy Central Presents. Now I get to see him every Friday on Best Week Ever. He's the funniest man alive, and he grows an amazing beard if I do say so myself; and I do.

January 15, 2009

Ten Long Years

aleb is walking. He doesn't know that I see him. If he knew, he wouldn't be walking. He really doesn't like it very much. Crawling is much faster, and that is how the dogs walk, so it's okay by him. I noticed that he was walking on his own a little bit more yesterday. Normally, he will crawl everywhere, even if it is just a foot or two away. More recently, he has been "driving" his car where ever he wants to go. Any day now he is going to stop crawling. I better get some more video while I have the chance.

The Slim fast diet is going great so far today. I do miss eating food and we are only a two days in. I am going to try to skip my snacks and just drink flavored water to curb my appetite until tonight because....... It's my anniversary!

Some people might think it's silly that Shawn and I still acknowledge our first date anniversary, but I don't. We dated for like almost 5 years before we got married, so you really don't see the whole scope of things if I say, "Shawn and I have been married for almost 5 years." Today is our 10 year anniversary! As Shawn and I have been saying to one another today, "Ten loooooooong years!" Hehehe

Shawn wants to go out to dinner with family either tonight or tomorrow, or both! I'll have to exercise a lot of restraint and also make some healthy choices while we are out. Eating out is just a part of life, and it is going to have to be a part of my diet plan as well. I guess I will just have to see my personal trainer, Jillian Michaels, today. I saw her yesterday and she made me do all kinds of horrible things, like jumping jacks and push ups. I can't wait to see what she has in store for me today.

January 14, 2009

Temptation Island

henever Shawn and I see a commercial, he will usually tell me that it didn't work. That is to say, that whatever the ad geniuses were trying to make him want, he doesn't want it. No commercial, he claims, has ever swayed him. Well, except for those funny little PC vs. Mac commercials. He likes those. Our next lap top will be a Mac because of them. I'm sure whoever heads up that advertising team makes a good deal of money.

I, on the other hand, and deeply persuaded by commercials. Namely, fast food commercials. More specifically, Burger King commercials. I don't know what it is, but something about the way they show those Whoppers with the meat sweat dripping off of them makes me want to drive down the road and get one.

Tonight during American Idol, (Yay for Jason Castro's brother) Burger King was airing commercials for this angry hamburger. OMGsh have you seen it? There are fried onions, jalapenos, and pepper jack cheese on it. Spicy hot meaty goodness on a bun... I was falling for it hook, line, and sinker! I had to text Janell and have her talk me through it! That's right, I had to call a PREGNANT LADY and have her talk me out of my own craving! She told me to drink a glass of water and eat a carrot! Sounds like tough love to me!

Eventually, I worked through the craving successfully, but mostly because I was too tired and lazy to get in the car and go to BK for an after dinner snack er... dinner. A second dinner. I almost had a second dinner! What the heck is wrong with me? I'm such a big fat pig!

Anyway, longish story shortish; I didn't get the burger, I drank water and ate carrots. I stayed within my calorie range for the day. The Slim Fast Diet day one was a success, although I don't know if you know this, but Slim Fast makes your pee smell funny. That's alright though. Janell ate asparagus last night, so her pee smells funny, too.

Big Fat Loser

ast night Shawn and I went to my parent's house to watch The Biggest Loser. My dad, who is Asian and English is his fifth language; calls it "Big Fat Loser". So, we all now call it Big Fat Loser night. We get together and watch The Biggest Loser and afterwards we play video or board games. It's a fun time, and it's the only way I can get Shawn to watch The Biggest Loser with me, normally he hates the show.

Yes, we have mean nick names for some of the people on the show, but in the end, we really are rooting for the slackers to get the boot and for the good, honest, hard working contestants to pull through. Last night was great fun. I was SO upset when Slow-elle made it above the yellow line! I really wanted Danny Sausage Fingers and Jerry-atrics to stay in the game a lot longer. In the end, I think everyone made the right decision in voting off Jerry-atrics and giving Danny Sausage Fingers a chance to learn more, and lose more weight.

I hope that Slow-elle goes home next week. With all of her whining and complaining I was so HAPPY to see Bob FREAK OUT on her! Her self proclaimed game plan was to "fake it 'til I make it", and I just don't think that someone with that attitude deserves to be there! I feel bad for her teammate, Lardla. Now there is a lady who deserves to be at the ranch. I saw those little beads of sweat on her forehead in her home video. I'm torn because I want to see Slow-elle go home, but I want to see Lardla succeed.

Off the subject, I think I have figured out how Slim Fast works. It is a kind of laxative, and I will leave it at that. I have already had a small snack today. I allotted myself 3 oz of baby carrots; which is roughly 8-10. I ate 3 and then I was sick to death of them. I shared one of them with my turtle, Commander Turt Turt. She likes them a lot. I'm starting to feel a little hungry again. I am debating whether I should try to eat more carrots or if I should try one of the Slim Fast 120 calorie snack bars. I'll let you know once I have made my decision.


s I sit here and type this blog, I am sipping on a thick and creamy cappuccino delight Slim Fast and watching Cookie Monster and Prairie Dawn on Play With Me Sesame.

This is the first day of my Slim Fast diet. Last night I dreamt that I woke up and my mom had come over with my whole family and made a huge breakfast. There was everything breakfast that you could think of and I stuffed myself with all of it. Then, I cried, "Why did you trick me into eating this when you knew today was my first Slim Fast day?!" Then I woke up STARVING. I think that my subconscious was fighting the start of a new diet.

Excellent, I have some kind of bazaar internal struggle. Just what I needed to make this diet really exciting. I can't wait to see how I sabotage myself next.

January 13, 2009

On Your Mark... Get Set...

verything is in place! I went to the store today and picked up some Slimfast; enough for a week. It was on sale, too! I'm assuming as some kind of New Year Resolition endcap. The selection was pretty picked over, but I got some cappacuino delight and some french vanilla to get me started. I also picked up some fruit and veggies for my snacks, and even some of those slim fast snack bars.

I added everything up and with 2 shakes and 2 snacks, I still have over 500 calories left for dinner. It's all a part of my 1,200 calorie diet. Of course, I will be working out as well. I've got to get that metabolism up or else I will just gain everything back when I go back to eating solid foods!

So you see, I have a plan. It's filled with holes, I admit, but if I stick to it, everything should be just fine. Oh, and did I forget to mention that drinking slimfast is way cheaper than eating? I'm going to be skinny and rich! Okay not rich, but I'm going to use all the money I save to buy cute new teeny tiny clothes!

January 12, 2009

Slim Fast or Fat Chance?

ow do you lose weight quickly? How do you lose weight quickly when you don't work out regularly and you like to eat carne asada chips from Muchas Gracias? I'm giving up on eating. I'm going on the mostly liquid diet. I'm going to try the Slim Fast Diet.

That's right; a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner. Just like Tommy Lasorda. I've done the Slim Fast thing before, and it worked out alright for me. I didn't cheat, and I lost weight. My only downfall was that when I ran out of shakes, I would go back to eating like garbage.

I think that the Slim Fast will work well for me at this time in my life. I don't eat a lot these days because I just don't have the time. This results in me being lethargic; too tired to work out, and binge eating at night. This is probably the worse combination of fasting / eating that I can think of. For breakfast I usually have 2 or 3 bites of oatmeal or cream of wheat while I am testing the temperature. My lunch is normally the crust of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. If I have a snack it could be called nothing less than ravaging a box of cheese crackers. For dinner, I pig out on over-sized portions of fast food or homemade, deep-fried meat.

My solution? Slim Fast. I'm too busy to eat, so a meal in a can will work great for me.
I eat cheese crackers for snack because A) I really do love them, and B) because they don't have to be prepared. My solution? Carrot sticks, fruit, or other healthy things that don't need to be prepped. Dinner is the only meal that I really have time to prepare, and since Shawn is doing a biggest loser competition at work; we could both benefit from healthier choices.

So, this week I am going to start my Slim Fast diet. I'll keep you posted on how well it works.

Jillian Michaels is a Jerk

illian Michaels is my new personal trainer. She has some workout routines on Exercise TV on demand. They are only about 20 minutes long, but they are so hardcore! She is expecting way too much from me. Every time I stop to take a break she yells at me and tells me "The finish line is not where you quit! It's where you finish strong!" Then she makes me jump with an invisible rope and do jumping jacks; which I hate. Can you believe she told me, "If you're looking for a modified jumping jack - you're not going to find it here! I have 400 pound people that jump; you can, too!" I mean seriously, how rude.

She's got a good record of successes with her clients, so I guess I will keep her around. I'm glad that I did the workout today. I've been wanting to restart my workout and weight loss goals. Shawn has started a Biggest Loser contest at work and I think he is going to the gym tonight, which means I might not get the time to go myself.

I probably definitely could have gotten a way better workout at the gym though. Bane thought that my dumbbells were some wonderful new chew toy that I was obviously keeping from him. Caleb thought that when I was lunging I was obviously making a really cool obstacle course for him. Between an 80 lbs pitbull trying to pull my weights out of my hand and Caleb doing figure eights around my ankles I didn't get to stay very focused. I did work up a good sweat though.

I would have liked to have done more chest exercises, but every time I tried to do a push up the dog and the baby would attack me. Bane tried to squish himself between me and the floor and Caleb tried to climb on top of me to play horsey. If I do make it to the gym tonight, I will have to get in some chest machines.


his is a Q & A post I got from Janell on MySpace. I thought it was pretty fun, and since we both thought it was cool enough that we put off doing things we really needed to get done; I thought I would post it on here. Enjoy!

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Annies Natural Goddess - dumb name; yummy flavor

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Depends on what I am in the mood for. I like Olive Garden, El Tapatio, Thien Hong, McGrath's Fish House, Red Robin, nothing too fancy.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Turkey Sandwiches from paradise bakery... ooh or their Walnut Chicken Salad. Come to think of it, I believe I actually HAVE eaten those for 2 weeks straight.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Candian Bacon & Pineapple..Mmmmm - Janell and I have so much in common

What do you like to put on your toast?

How many televisions are in your house?
One great big TV

What color cell phone do you have?
Red & Black

What color of ipod do you have?

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right handed.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Caleb was removed.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A big giant bulky stroller, to replace it with a new sleak awesome stroller

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No, but I've seen it happen to quite a few people.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Eh, no. I don't think so.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I'd change it to my middle name

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Add a couple more zeros and you've got a deal.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
3 or 4 and I was thinking yesterday that I'd like another pair. Have you seen those fuzzy slippers that are flip flops? How cute!

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Hmmm... not counting Sunday mornings at church and times when the undercovers are following us around......... I dunno, but I'm sure I was being unfairly harassed!

Last person you talked to:
My husband; we're talking right now... about how many cops are in camas, nonetheless

Last person you hugged?
Caleb whenever he crawls this way.

Autumn - everything but the rain and soggy ground

Christmas, for sure

Day of the week?


Missing someone?
Shawn, because he just hung up the phone =[


What are you listening to?
The Hoobs singing a song about being a penguin.

The Hoobs

Worrying about?
Am I getting hearburn?

First place you went this morning?
Caleb's room

What's the last movie you saw?
Blade Trinity for the millionth time. Thanks Shawn...

Do you smile often?
Whenever I look at Mr. Caleb

Do you always answer your phone?
I almost always answer my home phone, but my cell phone has been dead for almost a week... so, not that one.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I don't think I would. If I really wanted to, I could go get those color-changing contacts.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
cherry limeade

Do you own a digital camera?
yeah a big fat broken one!

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes, Caleb has a little tiny goldfish named Mr. Wigglesworth.

Favorite Christmas song?
The First Noel

Can you do push ups?
Just a few

Can you do a chin up?
One time I did one.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Janell's memory verse. Philippians 4:6-7

Do you have any saved texts? Who are they from and what do they say?
I have saved the texts that Brian sent me when Bethany was in Labor.
They say "out" and "loud"

Ever been in a car wreck?
I keep getting rearended

Do you have an accent?
A Northwestern accent, or so I have been told.

What is the last song to make you cry?
OMGsh when I was preggers I cried to Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus is Coming to Town - then I got angry because it was so stupid.

Plans tonight?
Gym perhaps?

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Been there... many times.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday..
Easy. Milk, juice, soup.

Have you ever been given roses?
A few here and there. I like other flowers more.

Current worry?
not worried

Current hate right now?
Muddy dog feet

Met someone who changed your life recently?
Not recently

How did you bring in the New Year?
I don't wanna brag. You can check out my MySpace pictures.

What song represents you?
Shoot - I have a whole soundtrack

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I think about it a lot, going back in time and doing everything right; but I wouldn't change anything if it meant I wouldn't have what and who I have now.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
I think I probably have done that... Shawn and I will have our 10 year anniversary this week.

Do you have any tattoo/piercing?
yeah yeah, old news.

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
Yes, till death do us part! =]

Does anyone love you?
I'm a pretty loveable person.

Would you be a pirate?
Pirates are mean and evil people who kill and steal, even if the ship is carrying food and goods that are meant to go to their own home's needy people! Pirates are REAL people, and they are murderers and theives.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't. Our walls are paper thin!

Ever had someone sing to you?
yeah....every year I stand in front of a cake and people sing to me! LOL --- hahah I love your answer Janell!!!! I hate the stupid birthday song!

When did you last cry?
I think it was Dec 1st 2007 when I found out I had to have an emergency c section

Have you held hands with anyone today?
Not yet, but I think I will do that.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Victoria, my cute little niece.

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
NOT NKOTB. I didn't like them until high school! haha

Do you believe in staying close with your exes?
Pshhhh I believe in pretending they don't exist until you eventually forget their names.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Most are relatively new.

Do you like pulpy orange juice?

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Kia says I always say, "Here's the deal with _______"

Have you ever ridden an elephant?
YES! and I want to do it again!

Do you like to play Scrabble?
I don't think I have ever done that.

What are you saving your money up for right now?
Family reunion in Califis this summer and Mississippi this fall

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
Not too long ago

What song do you want played at your funeral?
I think I want someone to find a recording of my grandpa playing "Let the Lower Lights be Burning" I'm sure there is one out there. Then everyone can CRY and I'll be dead so I'll be fine! mwa ha ha ha

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Telling myself I should have gone to bed an hour ago.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I'll just sleep another half hour.

January 11, 2009

A Little Facelift

new look for a new year. The holidays are over and I can almost relax. I can't believe that I actually had the time to work on this layout. I did not, however; have the time to change any of my old posts to fit with the new layout. Sorry, they are just going to have to look bad forever. Hopefully, I will be able to post enough that the old, ugly posts will just fade into the background.

I am more than ready to put 2008 behind me and I'm looking forward to 2009! The year is already looking promising. There are a lot of things that went wrong last year, and things can only get better, I'm sure. Even the failing economy is going to work out well for me. I am currently stuck in an ARM, and if the economy stays bad and the feds keep the rates low, I can hopefully make it to a refi without my payments sky-rocketing!
  • My brother, who was laid off last year, started a new and WAY better job at the Public Utilities Department. He's in the union now! Sadly, neither he, nor I, receive a discount on our electricity...
  • Shawn is probably going to be getting a WAY better job himself. It's pretty much a no-brainer how that is going to help out; he's my husband!
  • My sister moved back in with my parents and got away from her irresponsible / hopelessly luckless roommates. Her land lady even let them out of their lease without a penalty.
  • I found pot holders with cupcakes on them, which I took as a sign that I indeed; should decorate my kitchen in cupcakes, no matter what Shawn says.

The list goes on...

I think that 2009 will be filled with happy posts!


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