Big Mac Attack

Things are not so good today, Internet. I have Mcdonald's poisoning. I ate a big mac yesterday and by midnight I was having horrible nausea and stomach cramping. By 2 am, Ronald Mcdonald's assault on my digestive track was in full swing.

I threw up all night. Even after my stomach was empty it continued to turn itself inside out. I started chugging water so i would have something to come up. That's a little trick I learned during my pregnancy. It hurts much less when there is something to come up.

Even now, in the afternoon, I am still throwing up and having stomach cramps. The only thing I have been able to keep down so far is a popcicle. That was less than an hour ago so the results are yet to be determined.

I know what you're thinking, Internet. Do not even go there. No. I am not pregnant! There are other symptoms that are CLEARLY food related. If anything, this incident has only solidified in my mind my overwhelming desire to NOT be pregnant.